Russell Edson
The Theory
The big one went to sleep as to die and dreamed he Became a tiny one. So tiny as to have lost all substance. To have Become as theoretical as a point. Then someone
The Changeling
A man had a son who was an anvil. And then sometimes He was an automobile tire. I do wish you would sit still, said the father. Sometimes his son was a rock. I
Elephant Dormitory
An elephant went to bed and pulled a crazy quilt up under Its tusks. But just as the great gray head began filling with the gray Wrinkles of sleep it was awakened by the
The Death Of A Fly
There was once a man who disguised himself as a Housefly and went about the neighborhood depositing Flyspecks. Well, he has to do something hasn’t he? said someone to Someone else. Of course, said
A Historical Breakfast
A man is bringing a cup of coffee to his face, Tilting it to his mouth. It’s historical, he thinks. He scratches his head: another historical event. He really ought to rest, he’s making
Ape And Coffee
Some coffee had gotten on a man’s ape. The man said, Animal did you get on my coffee? No no, whistled the ape, the coffee got on me. You’re sure you didn’t spill on
One Lonely Afternoon
Since the fern can’t go to the sink for a drink of Water, I graciously submit myself to the task, bringing two Glasses from the sink. And so we sit, the fern and I,
Counting Sheep
A scientist has a test tube full of sheep. He Wonders if he should try to shrink a pasture For them. They are like grains of rice. He wonders if it is possible to
You
Out of nothing there comes a time called childhood, which Is simply a path leading through an archway called Adolescence. A small town there, past the arch called youth. Soon, down the road, where
Accidents
The barber has accidentally taken off an ear. It lies like Something newborn on the floor in a nest of hair. Oops, says the barber, but it musn’t’ve been a very good Ear, it
The Lighted Window
A lighted window floats through the night Like a piece of paper in the wind. I want to see into it. I want to climb Through into its lighted room. As I reach for
The Wounded Breakfast
A huge shoe mounts up from the horizon, Squealing and grinding forward on small wheels, Even as a man sitting to breakfast on his veranda Is suddenly engulfed in a great shadow, almost The
The Pattern
A women had given birth to an old man. He cried to have again been caught in the pattern. Oh well, he sighed as he took her breast to his mouth. The woman is
The Sad Message
The Captain becomes moody at sea. He’s Afraid of water; such bully amounts that prove the Seas. . . A glass of water is one thing. A man easily downs It, capturing its menace
The Fight
A man is fighting with a cup of coffee. The rules: he must not Break the cup nor spill its coffee; nor must the cup break the Man’s bones or spill his blood. The
The Philosophers
I think, therefore I am, said a man whose mother quickly Hit him on the head, saying, I hit my son on the head, Therefore I am. No no, you’ve got it all wrong,
The Closet
Here I am with my mother, hanging under the molt Of years, in a garden of umbrellas and rubber boots, Together always in the vague perfume of her coat. See how the fedoras along
The Alfresco Moment
A butler asks, will Madam be having her morning coffee Alfresco? If you would be so good as to lift me out of my bed to The veranda I would be more than willing
The Floor
The floor is something we must fight against. Whilst seemingly mere platform for the human Stance, it is that place that men fall to. I am not dizzy. I stand as a tower, a
Angels
They have little use. They are best as objects of torment. No government cares what you do with them. Like birds, and yet so human. . . They mate by briefly looking at the
Mr. Brain
Mr Brain was a hermit dwarf who liked to eat shellfish off The moon. He liked to go into a tree then because there is a Little height to see a little further, which
The Position
They let me in. I went right up to the nursery And climbed into the crib, and assumed the famous Fetal position. They didn’t know what to make of it. They stood By the
The Bridge
In his travels he comes to a bridge made entirely of bones. Before crossing he writes a letter to his mother: Dear mother, Guess what? the ape accidentally bit off one of his hands
The Gentlemen In The Meadow
Some gentlemen are floating in the meadow over The yellow grass. They seem to hover by those wonderful blue Little flowers that grow there by those rocks. Perhaps they have floated up from that
The Having To Love Something Else
There was a man who would marry his mother, and asked his Father for his mother’s hand in marriage, and was told he could Not marry his mother’s hand because it was attached to
Antimatter
On the other side of a mirror there’s an inverse world, Where the insane go sane; where bones climb out of the Earth and recede to the first slime of love. And in the
On The Eating Of Mice
A woman prepared a mouse for her husband’s dinner, Roasting it with a blueberry in its mouth. At table he uses a dentist’s pick and a surgeon’s scalpel, Bending over the tiny roastling with
Erasing Amyloo
A father with a huge eraser erases his daughter. When he Finishes there’s only a red smudge on the wall. His wife says, where is Amyloo? She’s a mistake, I erased her. What about
A Journey Through The Moonlight
In sleep when an old man’s body is no longer Aware of his boundaries, and lies flattened by Gravity like a mere of wax in its bed. . . It drips Down to the
The Father Of Toads
A man had just delivered a toad from his wife’s armpit. He Held it by its legs and spanked it. Do you love it? said his wife. It’s our child, isn’t it? Does that
Sleep
There was a man who didn’t know how to sleep; nodding Off every night into a drab, unprofessional sleep. Sleep that He’d grown so tired of sleeping. He tried reading The Manual of Sleep,
The Ox
There was once a woman whose father over The years had become an ox. She would hear him alone at night lowing In his room. It was one day when she looked up into
A Performance At Hog Theater
There was once a hog theater where hogs performed As men, had men been hogs. One hog said, I will be a hog in a field which has Found a mouse which is being
Ape
You haven’t finished your ape, said mother to father, Who had monkey hair and blood on his whiskers. I’ve had enough monkey, cried father. You didn’t eat the hands, and I went to all
The Autopsy
In a back room a man is performing an autopsy On an old raincoat. His wife appears in the doorway with a candle And asks, how does it go? Not now, not now, I’m
Paying The Captain
We get on a boat, never mind if it sinks, we pay The captain by throwing him overboard. And when he Gets back onboard we say, captain, please don’t be Angry. And he forgives
The Reason Why The Closet-Man Is Never Sad
This is the house of the closet-man. There are no rooms, Just hallways and closets. Things happen in rooms. He does not like things to Happen. . . Closets, you take things out of
The Breast
One night a woman’s breast came to a man’s room and Began to talk about her twin sister. Her twin sister this and her twin sister that. Finally the man said, but what about
The Toy-Maker
A toy-maker made a toy wife and a toy child. He made a toy house and some toy years. He made a getting-old toy, and he made a dying Toy. The toy-maker made a
The Marionettes Of Distant Masters
A pianist dreams that he’s hired by a wrecking company to Ruin a piano with his fingers. . . On the day of the piano wrecking concert, as he’s Dressing, he notices a butterfly
The Melting
An old woman likes to melt her husband. She puts him in A melting device, and he pours out the other end in a hot Bloody syrup, which she catches in a series of
Soup Song
How I make my soup: I draw water from a tap. . . I am not an artist. And the water is not so much Drawn as allowed to fall, and to capture itself
Hands
There was a road that leads him to go to find A certain time where he sits. Smokes quietly in the evening by the four legged Table wagging its (well why not) tail, friendly
The Family Monkey
We bought an electric monkey, experimenting rather Recklessly with funds carefully gathered since Grandfather’s time for the purchase of a steam monkey. We had either, by this time, the choice of an electric Or
The Rat's Tight Schedule
A man stumbled on some rat droppings. Hey, who put those there? That’s dangerous, he said. His wife said, those are pieces of a rat. Wait, he’s coming apart, he’s all over the floor,
Grass
The living room is overgrown with grass. It has Come up around the furniture. It stretches through The dining room, past the swinging door into the Kitchen. It extends for miles and miles into
A Stone Is Nobody's
A man ambushed a stone. Caught it. Made it a prisoner. Put it in a dark room and stood guard over it for the Rest of his life. His mother asked why. He said,
Vomit
The house grows sick in its dining room and begins to vomit. Father cries, the dining room is vomiting. No wonder, the way you eat, it’s enough to make anybody sick, Says his wife.
The Man Rock
A man is a rock in a garden of chairs and waits For a longtime to be over. It is easier for a rock in a garden than a man Inside his mother. He
The Fall
There was a man who found two leaves and came Indoors holding them out saying to his parents That he was a tree. To which they said then go into the yard and do
Conjugal
A man is bending his wife. He is bending her Around something that she has bent herself Around. She is around it, bent as he has bent Her. He is convincing her. It is
The Pilot
Up in a dirty window in a dark room is a star Which an old man can see. He looks at it. He can See it. It is the star of the room; an