Stamp Collector
My worldly wealth I hoard in albums three,
My life collection of rare postage stamps;
My room is cold and bare as you can see,
My coat is old and shabby as a tramp’s;
Yet more to me than balances in banks,
My albums three are worth a million francs.
I keep them in that box beside my bed,
For who would dream such treasures it could hold;
But every day I take them out and spread
Each page, to gloat like miser o’er his gold:
Dearer to me than could be child or wife,
I would defend them with my very life.
They are my very life, for every night
Over my catalogues I pore and pore;
I recognize rare items with delight,
Nothing I read but philatelic lore;
And when some specimen of choice I buy,
In all the world there’s none more glad than I.
Behold my gem, my British penny black;
To pay its price I starved myself a year;
And many a night my dinner I would
But when I bought it, oh, what radiant cheer!
Hitler made war that day – I did not care,
So long as my collection he would spare.
Look – my triangular Cape of Good Hope.
To purchase it I had to sell my car.
Now in my pocket for some sous I grope
To pay my omnibus when home is far,
And I am cold and hungry and footsore,
In haste to add some beauty to my store.
This very day, ah, what a joy was mine,
When in a dingy dealer’s shop I found
This franc vermillion, eighteen forty-nine. . .
How painfully my heart began to pound!
(It’s weak they say), I paid the modest price
And tremblingly I vanished in a trice.
But oh, my dream is that some day of days,
I might discover a Mauritius blue,
Poking among the stamp-bins of the quais;
Who knows! They say there are but two;
Yet if a third one I should spy,
I think – God help me! I should faint and die. . . .
Poor Monsieur Pns, he’s cold and dead,
One of those stamp-collecting cranks.
His garret held no crust of bread,
But albums worth a million francs.
On them his income he would spend,
By philatelic frenzy driven:
What did it profit in the end. . .
You can’t take stamps to Heaven.
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