282. Extemporaneous Effusion on being appointed to an Excise Division

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1. 309. Verses on Captain Grose KEN ye aught o’ Captain Grose?-Igo, and ago, If he’s amang his friends or foes?-Iram, coram, dago. Is he to Abra’m’s bosom gane?-Igo, and ago, Or haudin Sarah by the wame?-Iram, coram dago. Is he south or is he north?-Igo, and ago, Or drowned in the river Forth?-Iram, coram dago. Is he slain by Hielan’ […]...
2. Auld Lang Syne Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my dear, For auld lang syne, We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet, For auld lang syne. And surely ye’ll be your pint-stowp, And surely I’ll be mine! And we’ll tak a […]...
3. 238. Song-Auld Lang Syne SHOULD auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne! Chorus.-For auld lang syne, my dear, For auld lang syne. We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet, For auld lang syne. And surely ye’ll be your pint stowp! And surely I’ll be mine! And we’ll tak […]...
4. 219. Song-To Daunton Me THE BLUDE-RED rose at Yule may blaw, The simmer lilies bloom in snaw, The frost may freeze the deepest sea; But an auld man shall never daunton me. Refrain.-To daunton me, to daunton me, And auld man shall never daunton me. To daunton me, and me sae young, Wi’ his fause heart and flatt’ring tongue, […]...
5. The Division Of Parts 1. Mother, my Mary Gray, Once resident of Gloucester And Essex County, A photostat of your will Arrived in the mail today. This is the division of money. I am one third Of your daughters counting my bounty Or I am a queen alone In the parlor still, Eating the bread and honey. It is […]...
6. The Division Of The Earth “Take the world!” Zeus exclaimed from his throne in the skies To the children of man “take the world I now give; It shall ever remain as your heirloom and prize, So divide it as brothers, and happily live.” Then all who had hands sought their share to obtain, The young and the aged made […]...
7. 325. Song-What can a Young Lassie do wi' an Auld Man? WHAT can a young lassie, what shall a young lassie, What can a young lassie do wi’ an auld man? Bad luck on the penny that tempted my minnie To sell her puir Jenny for siller an’ lan’. Bad luck on the penny that tempted my minnie To sell her puir Jenny for siller an’ […]...
8. 63. One Night as I did Wander ONE night as I did wander, When corn begins to shoot, I sat me down to ponder Upon an auld tree root; Auld Ayr ran by before me, And bicker’d to the seas; A cushat crooded o’er me, That echoed through the braes...
9. 542. Song-Fragment-the Wren's Nest THE ROBIN to the Wren’s nest Cam keekin’ in, cam keekin’ in; O weel’s me on your auld pow, Wad ye be in, wad ye be in? Thou’s ne’er get leave to lie without, And I within, and I within, Sae lang’s I hae an auld clout To rowe ye in, to rowe ye in....
10. 368. Song-Scroggam, my dearie THERE was a wife wonn’d in Cockpen, Scroggam; She brew’d gude ale for gentlemen; Sing auld Cowl lay ye down by me, Scroggam, my dearie, ruffum. The gudewife’s dochter fell in a fever, Scroggam; The priest o’ the parish he fell in anither; Sing auld Cowl lay ye down by me, Scroggam, my dearie, ruffum. […]...
11. 385. Song-Auld Rob Morris THERE’S Auld Rob Morris that wons in yon glen, He’s the King o’ gude fellows, and wale o’ auld men; He has gowd in his coffers, he has owsen and kine, And ae bonie lass, his dautie and mine. She’s fresh as the morning, the fairest in May; She’s sweet as the ev’ning amang the […]...
12. 96. The Inventory SIR, as your mandate did request, I send you here a faithfu’ list, O’ gudes an’ gear, an’ a’ my graith, To which I’m clear to gi’e my aith. Imprimis, then, for carriage cattle, I hae four brutes o’ gallant mettle, As ever drew afore a pettle. My hand-afore ‘s a guid auld has-been, An’ […]...
13. An Arab Shepherd Is Searching For His Goat On Mount Zion An Arab shepherd is searching for his goat on Mount Zion And on the opposite hill I am searching for my little boy. An Arab shepherd and a Jewish father Both in their temporary failure. Our two voices met above The Sultan’s Pool in the valley between us. Neither of us wants the boy or […]...
14. 544. SongвЂ"Crowdie ever mair O THAT I had ne’er been married, I wad never had nae care, Now I’ve gotten wife an’ weans, An’ they cry “Crowdie” evermair. Chorus. —Ance crowdie, twice crowdie, Three times crowdie in a day Gin ye crowdie ony mair, Ye’ll crowdie a’ my meal away. Waefu’ Want and Hunger fley me, Glowrin’ by the […]...
15. 375. Song-The Deuks dang o'er my Daddie THE BAIRNS gat out wi’ an unco shout, The deuks dang o’er my daddie, O! The fien-ma-care, quo’ the feirrie auld wife, He was but a paidlin’ body, O! He paidles out, and he paidles in, An’ he paidles late and early, O! This seven lang years I hae lien by his side, An’ he […]...
16. 258. Epistle to James Tennant of Glenconner AULD comrade dear, and brither sinner, How’s a’ the folk about Glenconner? How do you this blae eastlin wind, That’s like to blaw a body blind? For me, my faculties are frozen, My dearest member nearly dozen’d. I’ve sent you here, by Johnie Simson, Twa sage philosophers to glimpse on; Smith, wi’ his sympathetic feeling, […]...
17. 69. Third Epistle to J. Lapraik GUID speed and furder to you, Johnie, Guid health, hale han’s, an’ weather bonie; Now, when ye’re nickin down fu’ cannie The staff o’ bread, May ye ne’er want a stoup o’ bran’y To clear your head. May Boreas never thresh your rigs, Nor kick your rickles aff their legs, Sendin the stuff o’er muirs […]...
18. 116. On a Scotch Bard, gone to the West Indies A’ YE wha live by sowps o’ drink, A’ ye wha live by crambo-clink, A’ ye wha live and never think, Come, mourn wi’ me! Our billie ‘s gien us a’ a jink, An’ owre the sea! Lament him a’ ye rantin core, Wha dearly like a random splore; Nae mair he’ll join the merry […]...
19. 87. The Twa Dogs ‘TWAS 1 in that place o’ Scotland’s isle, That bears the name o’ auld King Coil, Upon a bonie day in June, When wearin’ thro’ the afternoon, Twa dogs, that were na thrang at hame, Forgather’d ance upon a time. The first I’ll name, they ca’d him Caesar, Was keepit for His Honor’s pleasure: His […]...
20. Wishes, For Alix Always searching, may you find; If you run-down, May you wind; Every year May you grow Reaping only What you sow Sowing only in the seed What will ripen into need What will sweeten to the touch Seeming little, being much. May your playmates be a song, May your friends just skip along Laughing you […]...
21. Unlyric Love Song It is time to give that-of-myself which I could not at first: To offer you now at last my least and my worst: Minor, absurd preserves, The shell’s end-curves, A document kept at the back of a drawer, A tin hidden under the floor, Recalcitrant prides and hesitations: To pile them carefully in a desparate […]...
22. 16-bit Intel 8088 chip with an Apple Macintosh You can’t run Radio Shack programs In its disc drive. Nor can a Commodore 64 Drive read a file You have created on an IBM Personal Computer. Both Kaypro and Osborne computers use The CP/M operating system But can’t read each other’s Handwriting For they format (write On) discs in different […]...
23. 295. Epistle to Dr. Blacklock ELLISLAND, 21st Oct., 1789.WOW, but your letter made me vauntie! And are ye hale, and weel and cantie? I ken’d it still, your wee bit jauntie Wad bring ye to: Lord send you aye as weel’s I want ye! And then ye’ll do. The ill-thief blaw the Heron south! And never drink be near his […]...
24. 278. On the late Captain Grose's Peregrinations HEAR, Land o’ Cakes, and brither Scots, Frae Maidenkirk to Johnie Groat’s;- If there’s a hole in a’ your coats, I rede you tent it: A chield’s amang you takin notes, And, faith, he’ll prent it: If in your bounds ye chance to light Upon a fine, fat fodgel wight, O’ stature short, but genius […]...
25. 1914 IV: The Dead These hearts were woven of human joys and cares, Washed marvellously with sorrow, swift to mirth. The years had given them kindness. Dawn was theirs, And sunset, and the colours of the earth. These had seen movement, and heard music; known Slumber and waking; loved; gone proudly friended; Felt the quick stir of wonder; sat […]...
26. Green Grow The Rashes Green grow the rashes, O! Green grow the rashes, O! The sweetest hours that e’er I spend, Are spent amang the lasses, O! There’s nought but care on every han’ In every hour that passes, O; What signifies the life o’ man, An ’twere na for the lasses, O? The warl’ly race may riches chase, […]...
27. The Red Blaze is the Morning The Red Blaze is the Morning The Violet is Noon The Yellow Day is falling And after that is none But Miles of Sparks at Evening Reveal the Width that burned The Territory Argent that Never yet consumed...
28. 32. Song-Green Grow the Rashes Chor.-Green grow the rashes, O; Green grow the rashes, O; The sweetest hours that e’er I spend, Are spent amang the lasses, O. THERE’S nought but care on ev’ry han’, In ev’ry hour that passes, O: What signifies the life o’ man, An’ ’twere na for the lasses, O. Green grow, &c. The war’ly race […]...
29. At leisure is the Soul At leisure is the Soul That gets a Staggering Blow The Width of Life before it spreads Without a thing to do It begs you give it Work But just the placing Pins Or humblest Patchwork Children do To Help its Vacant Hands...
30. 159. Song-My Lord a-Hunting he is gane Chorus.-MY lady’s gown, there’s gairs upon’t, And gowden flowers sae rare upon’t; But Jenny’s jimps and jirkinet, My lord thinks meikle mair upon’t. My lord a-hunting he is gone, But hounds or hawks wi’ him are nane; By Colin’s cottage lies his game, If Colin’s Jenny be at hame. My lady’s gown, &c. My lady’s […]...
31. How many schemes may die How many schemes may die In one short Afternoon Entirely unknown To those they most concern The man that was not lost Because by accident He varied by a Ribbon’s width From his accustomed route The Love that would not try Because beside the Door It must be competitions Some unsuspecting Horse was tied Surveying […]...
32. Somewhere upon the general Earth Somewhere upon the general Earth Itself exist Today The Magic passive but extant That consecrated me Indifferent Seasons doubtless play Where I for right to be Would pay each Atom that I am But Immortality Reserving that but just to prove Another Date of Thee Oh God of Width, do not for us Curtail Eternity!...
33. 130. Nature's Law: A Poem LET other heroes boast their scars, The marks of sturt and strife: And other poets sing of wars, The plagues of human life: Shame fa’ the fun, wi’ sword and gun To slap mankind like lumber! I sing his name, and nobler fame, Wha multiplies our number. Great Nature spoke, with air benign, “Go on, […]...
34. 71. Second Epistle to Davie AULD NEIBOUR, I’m three times doubly o’er your debtor, For your auld-farrant, frien’ly letter; Tho’ I maun say’t I doubt ye flatter, Ye speak sae fair; For my puir, silly, rhymin clatter Some less maun sair. Hale be your heart, hale be your fiddle, Lang may your elbuck jink diddle, To cheer you thro’ the […]...
35. 111. Address to Beelzebub LONG life, my Lord, an’ health be yours, Unskaithed by hunger’d Highland boors; Lord grant me nae duddie, desperate beggar, Wi’ dirk, claymore, and rusty trigger, May twin auld Scotland o’ a life She likes-as butchers like a knife. Faith you and Applecross were right To keep the Highland hounds in sight: I doubt na! […]...
36. May 24, 1980 I have braved, for want of wild beasts, steel cages, Carved my term and nickname on bunks and rafters, Lived by the sea, flashed aces in an oasis, Dined with the-devil-knows-whom, in tails, on truffles. From the height of a glacier I beheld half a world, the earthly width. Twice have drowned, thrice let knives […]...
37. No Man can compass a Despair No Man can compass a Despair As round a Goalless Road No faster than a Mile at once The Traveller proceed Unconscious of the Width Unconscious that the Sun Be setting on His progress So accurate the One At estimating Pain Whose own has just begun His ignorance the Angel That pilot Him along...
38. 79. Adam Armour's Prayer GUDE pity me, because I’m little! For though I am an elf o’ mettle, An’ can, like ony wabster’s shuttle, Jink there or here, Yet, scarce as lang’s a gude kail-whittle, I’m unco queer. An’ now Thou kens our waefu’ case; For Geordie’s jurr we’re in disgrace, Because we stang’d her through the place, An’ […]...
39. 132. Reply to a Trimming Epistle, received from a Tailor WHAT ails ye now, ye lousie bitch To thresh my back at sic a pitch? Losh, man! hae mercy wi’ your natch, Your bodkin’s bauld; I didna suffer half sae much Frae Daddie Auld. What tho’ at times, when I grow crouse, I gie their wames a random pouse, Is that enough for you to […]...
40. 296. The Five Carlins: An Election Ballad THERE was five Carlins in the South, They fell upon a scheme, To send a lad to London town, To bring them tidings hame. Nor only bring them tidings hame, But do their errands there, And aiblins gowd and honor baith Might be that laddie’s share. There was Maggy by the banks o’ Nith, A […]...