Home ⇒ 📌Jean De la Fontaine ⇒ The Husband-Confessor
The Husband-Confessor
WHEN Francis (named the first) o’er Frenchmen reign’d,
In Italy young Arthur laurels gained,
And oft such daring valour showed in fight,
With ev’ry honour he was made a knight;
The monarch placed the spur upon his heel,
That all around his proper worth might feel.
Then household deities at home he sought,
Where not at prayers his beauteous dame he caught:
He’d left her, truly, quite dissolv’d in tears;
But now the belle had bid adieu to fears;
And oft was dancing joyously around,
With all the company that could be found.
GALLANTS in crowds Sir Arthur soon perceived;
At sight of these the knight was sorely grieved;
And, turning in his mind how best to act;
Cried he, Can this be truly held a fact,
That I’ve been worthy while I’d fame in view,
Of cuckoldom at home, and knighthood too?
It ought to be but half: the truth let’s know;
Then like a father-confessor he dressed,
And took his seat where priests their flock confessed.
His lady absolution sought that day,
And on her knees before him ‘gan to pray;
The minor sins were told with downcast eyes,
And then for hearing those of larger size,
The husband-confessor prepared his ears:
Said she, Good father, (‘mid a flood of tears),
My bed receives, (the fault I fear’s not slight,)
A gentleman, a parson, and a knight.
Still more had followed, but, by rage o’ercome,
Sir Arthur cut the thread, and she was mum;
Though, doubtless, had the fair been let proceed,
Quite long her Litany had been decreed.
THe husband, in a rage, exclaimed, thou jade,
A parson, say’st thou? t’whom dost think thou’st made
This curst confession?
I saw you enter here, and came with glee,
Supposing you’d a trick to raise surprise;
Howe’er ’tis strange that one so very wise,
The riddle should not fully comprehend:
A KNIGHT, the king created you, my friend;
A GENTLEMAN, your rank was long ago;
A PARSON, you have made yourself you know.
Good heav’ns! exclaimed the knight, ’tis very clear,
And I a blockhead surely must appear
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Related poetry:
- In My Solitary Hours in My Dear Husband his Absence O Lord, Thou hear’st my daily moan And see’st my dropping tears. My troubles all are Thee before, My longings and my fears. Thou hitherto hast been my God; Thy help my soul hath found. Though loss and sickness me assailed, Through Thee I’ve kept my ground. And Thy abode Thou’st made with me; With […]...
- Alice Sick SICK, Alice grown, and fearing dire event, Some friend advised a servant should be sent Her confessor to bring and ease her mind; Yes, she replied, to see him I’m inclined; Let father Andrew instantly be sought: By him salvation usually I’m taught. A MESSENGER was told, without delay, To take, with rapid steps, the […]...
- The Confessor, a Sanctified Tale When SUPERSTITION rul’d the land And Priestcraft shackled Reason, At GODSTOW dwelt a goodly band, Grey monks they were, and but to say They were not always giv’n to pray, Would have been construed Treason. Yet some did scoff, and some believ’d That sinners were themselves deceiv’d; And taking Monks for more than men They […]...
- The Jealous Husband A CERTAIN husband who, from jealous fear, With one eye slept while t’other watched his dear, Deprived his wife of every social joy, (Friends oft the jealous character annoy,) And made a fine collection in a book, Of tricks with which the sex their wishes hook. Strange fool! as if their wiles, to speak the […]...
- In Thankful Remembrance for My Dear Husband's Safe Arrival What shall I render to Thy name Or how Thy praises speak? My thanks how shall I testify? O Lord, Thou know’st I’m weak. I owe so much, so little can Return unto Thy name, Confusion seizes on my soul, And I am filled with shame. O Thou that hearest prayers, Lord, To Thee shall […]...
- Upon My Dear and Loving Husband his Going into England Jan. 16 O thou Most High who rulest all And hear’st the prayers of thine, O hearken, Lord, unto my suit And my petition sign. Into Thy everlasting arms Of mercy I commend Thy servant, Lord. Keep and preserve My husband, My dear friend. At Thy command, O Lord, he went, Nor nought could keep him back. […]...
- A Letter to Her Husband Absent upon Public Employment My head, my heart, mine eyes, my life, nay more, My joy, my magazine, of earthly store, If two be one, as surely thou and I, How stayest thou there, whilst I at Ipswich lie? So many steps, head from the heart to sever, If but a neck, soon should we […]...
- Ape You haven’t finished your ape, said mother to father, Who had monkey hair and blood on his whiskers. I’ve had enough monkey, cried father. You didn’t eat the hands, and I went to all the Trouble to make onion rings for its fingers, said mother. I’ll just nibble on its forehead, and then I’ve had […]...
- To A Lady On The Death Of Her Husband GRIM monarch! see, depriv’d of vital breath, A young physician in the dust of death: Dost thou go on incessant to destroy, Our griefs to double, and lay waste our joy? Enough thou never yet wast known to say, Though millions die, the vassals of thy sway: Nor youth, nor science, not the ties of […]...
- The Jungle Husband Dearest Evelyn, I often think of you Out with the guns in the jungle stew Yesterday I hittapotamus I put the measurements down for you but they got lost in the fuss It’s not a good thing to drink out here You know, I’ve practically given it up dear. Tomorrow I am going alone a […]...
- To A Husband This is to the crown and blessing of my life, The much loved husband of a happy wife; To him whose constant passion found the art To win a stubborn and ungrateful heart, And to the world by tenderest proof discovers They err, who say that husbands can’t be lovers. With such return of passion, […]...
- Her Late Husband (King's-Hintock, 182-.) “No not where I shall make my own; But dig his grave just by The woman’s with the initialed stone – As near as he can lie – After whose death he seemed to ail, Though none considered why. “And when I also claim a nook, And your feet tread me in, Bestow me, under […]...
- First Death In Nova Scotia In the cold, cold parlor My mother laid out Arthur Beneath the chromographs: Edward, Prince of Wales, With Princess Alexandra, And King George with Queen Mary. Below them on the table Stood a stuffed loon Shot and stuffed by Uncle Arthur, Arthur’s father. Since Uncle Arthur fired A bullet into him, He hadn’t said a […]...
- The Kiss Returned AS WILLIAM walking with his wife was seen, A man of rank admired her lovely mien. Who gave you such a charming fair? he cried, May I presume to kiss your beauteous bride? With all my heart, replied the humble swain, You’re welcome, sir: I beg you’ll not refrain; She’s at your service: take the […]...
- Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light. Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night. Good men, the […]...
- By Night when Others Soundly Slept . By night when others soundly slept And hath at once both ease and Rest, My waking eyes were open kept And so to lie I found it best. . I sought him whom my Soul did Love, With tears I sought him earnestly. He bow’d his ear down from Above. In vain I did […]...
- Here Follow Several Occasional Meditations By night when others soundly slept, And had at once both case and rest, My waking eyes were open kept And so to lie I found it best. I sought Him whom my soul did love, With tears I sought Him earnestly; He bowed His ear down from above. In vain I did not seek […]...
- Jack Honest, or the Widow and Her Son Jack Honest was only eight years of age when his father died, And by the death of his father, Mrs Honest was sorely tried; And Jack was his father’s only joy and pride, And for honesty Jack couldn’t be equalled in the country-side. So a short time before Jack’s father died, ‘Twas loud and bitterly […]...
- The Division Of The Earth “Take the world!” Zeus exclaimed from his throne in the skies To the children of man “take the world I now give; It shall ever remain as your heirloom and prize, So divide it as brothers, and happily live.” Then all who had hands sought their share to obtain, The young and the aged made […]...
- Curse of a Rich Polish Peasant on His Sister Who Ran Away With a Wild Man FELIKSOWA has gone again from our house and this time for good, I hope. She and her husband took with them the cow father gave them, and they sold it. She went like a swine, because she called neither on me, her brother, nor on her father, before leaving for those forests. That is where […]...
- Absence When my love was away, Full three days were not sped, I caught my fancy astray Thinking if she were dead, And I alone, alone: It seem’d in my misery In all the world was none Ever so lone as I. I wept; but it did not shame Nor comfort my heart: away I rode […]...
- Any Wife To Any Husband I My love, this is the bitterest, that thou Who art all truth and who dost love me now As thine eyes say, as thy voice breaks to say – Shouldst love so truly and couldst love me still A whole long life through, had but love its will, Would death that leads me from […]...
- Neighbour Peter's Mare A CERTAIN pious rector (John his name), But little preached, except when vintage came; And then no preparation he required On this he triumphed and was much admired. Another point he handled very well, Though oft’ner he’d thereon have liked to dwell, And this the children of the present day, So fully know, there’s naught […]...
- "In re a Gentleman, One" We see it each day in the paper, And know that there’s mischief in store; That some unprofessional caper Has landed a shark on the shore. We know there’ll be plenty of trouble Before they get through with the fun, Because he’s been coming the double On clients, has “Gentleman, One”. Alas for the gallant […]...
- Little Popeet – the Lost Child Near by the silent waters of the Mediterranean, And at the door of an old hut stood a coloured man, Whose dress was oriental in style and poor with wear, While adown his furrowed cheeks ran many a tear. And the poor coloured man seemed very discontent, And his grief overcame him at this moment; […]...
- Joey I thought I would go daft when Joey died. He was my first, and wise beyond his years. For nigh a hundred nights I cried and cried, Until my weary eyes burned up my tears. Willie and Rosie tried to comfort me: A woeful, weeping family were we. I was a widow with no friends […]...
- Ballad Of The Despairing Husband My wife and I lived all alone, Contention was our only bone. I fought with her, she fought with me, And things went on right merrily. But now I live here by myself With hardly a damn thing on the shelf, And pass my days with little cheer Since I have parted from my dear. […]...
- The Changeling A man had a son who was an anvil. And then sometimes He was an automobile tire. I do wish you would sit still, said the father. Sometimes his son was a rock. I realize that you have quite lost boundary, where no Excess seems excessive, nor to where poverty roots hunger to Need. But […]...
- Where It Was At Back Then Husband, Last night I dreamt They cut off your hands and feet. Husband, You whispered to me, Now we are both incomplete. Husband, I held all four In my arms like sons and daughters. Husband, I bent slowly down And washed them in magical waters. Husband, I placed each one Where it belonged on you. […]...
- Northern Farmer: New Style Dosn’t thou ‘ear my ‘erse’s legs, as they canters awaäy? Proputty, proputty, proputty that’s what I ‘ears ’em saäy. Proputty, proputty, proputty Sam, thou’s an ass for thy paaïns: Theer’s moor sense i’ one o’ ‘is legs, nor in all thy braaïns. Woä theer’s a craw to pluck wi’ tha, Sam; yon ‘s parson’s ‘ouse […]...
- Farewell Down horse drink gentleman alcohol Ask gentleman what place go Gentleman say not achieve wish Return lie south mountain near Still go nothing more ask White cloud not exhaust time Dismounting, I offer my friend a cup of wine, I ask what place he is headed to. He says he has not achieved his aims, […]...
- The Troubles of Matthew Mahoney In a little town in Devonshire, in the mellow September moonlight, A gentleman passing along a street saw a pitiful sight, A man bending over the form of a woman on the pavement. He was uttering plaintive words and seemingly discontent. “What’s the matter with the woman?” asked the gentleman, As the poor, fallen woman […]...
- The Psalter ONCE more permit me, nuns, and this the last; I can’t resist, whatever may have passed, But must relate, what often I’ve been told; Your tales of convent pranks are seldom cold; They have a grace that no where else we find, And, somehow, better seem to please designed. Another then we’ll have, which three […]...
- Jehovah-Rophi. I Am the Lord That Healeth Thee (Exodus, xv.26) Heal us, Emmanuel! here we are, Waiting to feel Thy touch: Deep-wounded souls to Thee repair And, Saviour, we are such. Our faith is feeble, we confess, We faintly trust Thy word; But wilt Thou pity us the less? Be that far from Thee, Lord! Remember him who once applied, With trembling, for […]...
- The Old Man's Comforts and how he gained them You are old, Father William, the young man cried, The few locks which are left you are grey; You are hale, Father William, a hearty old man, Now tell me the reason I pray. In the days of my youth, Father William replied, I remember’d that youth would fly fast, And abused not my health […]...
- My Spectre Around Me My spectre around me night and day Like a wild beast guards my way. My emanation far within Weeps incessantly for my sin. A fathomless and boundless deep, There we wander, there we weep; On the hungry craving wind My spectre follows thee behind. He scents thy footsteps in the snow, Wheresoever thou dost go […]...
- Fit the Third ( Hunting of the Snark ) The Baker’s Tale They roused him with muffins they roused him with ice They roused him with mustard and cress They roused him with jam and judicious advice They set him conundrums to guess. When at length he sat up and was able to speak, His sad story he offered to tell; And the Bellman […]...
- The Knight's Tomb Where is the grave of Sir Arthur O’Kellyn? Where may the grave of that good man be? By the side of a spring, on the breast of Helvellyn, Under the twigs of a young birch tree! The oak that in summer was sweet to hear, And rustled its leaves in the fall of the year, […]...
- The Song of Finis At the edge of All the Ages A Knight sate on his steed, His armor red and thin with rust His soul from sorrow freed; And he lifted up his visor From a face of skin and bone, And his horse turned head and whinnied As the twain stood there alone. No bird above that […]...
- The Rat's Tight Schedule A man stumbled on some rat droppings. Hey, who put those there? That’s dangerous, he said. His wife said, those are pieces of a rat. Wait, he’s coming apart, he’s all over the floor, said the Husband. He can’t help it; you don’t think he wants to drop pieces of Himself all over the floor, […]...