It’s a ruling from the field of pain (devoid of antique nave,
A judgement process aptly named ‘benefit of doubt’);
You’ve encountered it without veneer in waning times
Where referees decline to rule on what is dreamed
– where benefits per se are favoured the brave.
I endeavoured to design a way to aid our weekly match,
No doubt with good intent and purest mind – at least back
At the start. Innovation breaks the heart of game tradition
In disquieting ways, ways which players will oppose without
Resort to reason. So this treasonous design was surely fated.
My fortunes are rebated on a biased plane, I cannot gain a fair
Review or claim immunity from moral prosecution; the worst
Solution for my team is to regress to ancient plays, old established
Ways and though I’ve done no wrong the longer that I think
Of it the more depressed I judge our chances of success.
So here we are; it distress me you cannot see it like I do,
Object on any grounds you can except you can’t deny
It really works. The crazy thing’s a masterpiece of mad
Design (entirely mine), aided by an upholsterer who
Cruelly placed eccentric studs to frustrate you.
We have to grin and bear it as our only way of saving
Grace, the referee declined to see that passage in the play
And wouldn’t say that I am wrong or you are right,
Therefore you might in fairness try to judge without
Suborned awareness and allow me… benefit of doubt.