… So, praise the gods, Catullus is away!
And let me tend you this advice, my dear:
Take any lover that you will, or may,
Except a poet. All of them are queer.
It’s just the same – a quarrel or a kiss
Is but a tune to play upon his pipe.
He’s always hymning that or wailing this;
Myself, I much prefer the business type.
That thing he wrote, the time the sparrow died-
(Oh, most unpleasant – gloomy, tedious words!)
I called it sweet, and made believe I cried;
The stupid fool! I’ve always hated birds…