Home ⇒ 📌Robert William Service ⇒ The Mystery Of Mister Smith
The Mystery Of Mister Smith
For supper we had curried tripe.
I washed the dishes, wound the clock;
Then for awhile I smoked my pipe –
Puff! Puff! We had no word of talk.
The Misses sewed – a sober pair;
Says I at last: “I need some air.”
A don’t know why I acted so;
I had no thought, no plot, no plan.
I did not really mean to go –
I’m such a docile little man;
But suddenly I felt that I
Must change my life or I would die.
A sign I saw: A ROOM TO LET.
It had a musty, dusty smell;
It gloated gloom, it growled and yet
Somehow I felt I liked it well.
I paid the rent a month ahead:
That night I smoked my pipe in bed.
From out my world I disappeared;
My walk and talk changed over-night.
I bought black glasses, grew a beard –
Abysmally I dropped from sight;
Old Tax Collector, Mister Smith
Became a memory, a myth.
I see my wife
She’s gained in weight since I have gone.
My pension serves her modest needs,
She keeps the old apartment on;
And living just a block away
I meet her nearly every day.
I hope she doesn’t mourn too much;
She has a sad and worried look.
One day we passed and chanced to touch,
But as with sudden fear I shook,
So blankly in my face she peered,
I had to chuckle in my beard.
Oh, comfort is a blessed thing,
But forty years of it I had.
I never drank the wine of Spring,
No moon has ever made me mad.
I never clutched the skirts of Chance
Nor daftly dallied with Romance.
And that is why I seek to save
My soul before it is too late,
To put between me and the grave
A few years of fantastic fate:
I’ve won to happiness because
I’ve killed the
I’ve murdered Income Taxer Smith,
And now I’m Johnny Jones to you.
I have no home, no kin, no kith,
I do the things I want to do.
No matter though I’ve not a friend,
I’ve won to freedom in the end.
Bohemian born, I guess, was I;
And should my wife her widowhood
By wedlock end I will not sigh,
But pack my grip and go for good,
To live in lands where laws are lax,
And innocent of Income Tax.
(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)Related poetry:
- Says Mister Doojabs Well, eight months ago one clear cold day, I took a ramble up Broadway, And with my hands behind my back I strolled along on the streetcar track- (I walked on the track, for walking there Gives one, I think, a distinguished air.) “Well, all of a sudden I felt a jar And I said, […]...
- Driver Smith ‘Twas Driver Smith of Battery A was anxious to see a fight; He thought of the Transvaal all the day, he thought of it all the night “Well, if the battery’s left behind, I’ll go to the war,” says he, “I’ll go a-driving and ambulance in the ranks of the A. M. C. “I’m fairly […]...
- Mary smith Away down East where I was reared amongst my Yankee kith, There used to live a pretty girl whose name was Mary Smith; And though it’s many years since last I saw that pretty girl, And though I feel I’m sadly worn by Western strife and whirl; Still, oftentimes, I think about the old familiar […]...
- Antichrist, or the Reunion of Christendom: An Ode Are they clinging to their crosses, F. E. Smith, Where the Breton boat-fleet tosses, Are they, Smith? Do they, fasting, trembling, bleeding, Wait the news from this our city? Groaning “That’s the Second Reading!” Hissing “There is still Committee!” If the voice of Cecil falters, If McKenna’s point has pith, Do they tremble for their […]...
- Louise Smith Herbert broke our engagement of eight years When Annabelle returned to the village From the Seminary, ah me! If I had let my love for him alone It might have grown into a beautiful sorrow Who knows? filling my life with healing fragrance. But I tortured it, I poisoned it, I blinded its eyes, and […]...
- Bones Said Mr. Smith, “I really cannot Tell you, Dr. Jones- The most peculiar pain I’m in- I think it’s in my bones.” Said Dr. Jones, “Oh, Mr. Smith, That’s nothing. Without doubt We have a simple cure for that; It is to take them out.” He laid forthwith poor Mr. Smith Close-clamped upon the table, […]...
- Three Wives Said Jones: “I’m glad my wife’s not clever; Her intellect is second-rate. If she was witty she would never Give me a chance to scintillate; But cap my humorous endeavour And make me seem as addle-pate.” Said Smith: “I’m glad my wife’s no beauty, For if a siren’s charm she had, And stinted her domestic […]...
- Sir Galahad, a Christmas Mystery It is the longest night in all the year, Near on the day when the Lord Christ was born; Six hours ago I came and sat down here, And ponder’d sadly, wearied and forlorn. The winter wind that pass’d the chapel door, Sang out a moody tune, that went right well With mine own thoughts: […]...
- Rhyme-Smith Oh, I was born a lyric babe (That last word is a bore – It’s only rhyme is astrolabe,” Whose meaning I ignore.) From cradlehood I lisped in numbers, Made jingles even in my slumbers. Said Ma: “He’ll be a bard, I know it.” Said Pa: “let’s hoe he will outgrow it.” Alas! I never […]...
- Village Mystery The woman in the pointed hood And cloak blue-gray like a pigeon’s wing, Whose orchard climbs to the balsam-wood, Has done a cruel thing. To her back door-step came a ghost, A girl who had been ten years dead, She stood by the granite hitching-post And begged for a piece of bread. Now why should […]...
- 90. Epistle to James Smith DEAR SMITH, the slee’st, pawkie thief, That e’er attempted stealth or rief! Ye surely hae some warlock-brief Owre human hearts; For ne’er a bosom yet was prief Against your arts. For me, I swear by sun an’ moon, An’ ev’ry star that blinks aboon, Ye’ve cost me twenty pair o’ shoon, Just gaun to see […]...
- My Ancestors A barefoot boy I went to school To save a cobbler’s fee, For though the porridge pot was full A frugal folk were we; We baked our bannocks, spun our wool, And counted each bawbee. We reft our living from the soil, And I was shieling bred; My father’s hands were warped with toil, And […]...
- Dream Song 116: Through the forest, followed, Henry made his silky way Through the forest, followed, Henry made his silky way, No chickadee was troubled, small moss smiled On his swift passage. But there were those ahead when at midday They met in a clearing and lookt at each other awhile. To kill was not the message. He only could go with them—odds? 20 to one-and-a-half; Pointless. […]...
- Mystery WHY does this sudden passion smite me? I stretch my hands, all blind to see: I need the lamp of the world to light me, Lead me and set me free. Something a moment seemed to stoop from The night with cool, cool breath on my face: Or did the hair of the twilight droop […]...
- The Sightless Man Out of the night a crash, A roar, a rampart of light; A flame that leaped like a lash, Searing forever my sight; Out of the night a flash, Then, oh, forever the Night! Here in the dark I sit, I who so loved the sun; Supple and strong and fit, In the dark till […]...
- Old King Cole In Tilbury Town did Old King Cole A wise old age anticipate, Desiring, with his pipe and bowl, No Khan’s extravagant estate. No crown annoyed his honest head, No fiddlers three were called or needed; For two disastrous heirs instead Made music more than ever three did. Bereft of her with whom his life Was […]...
- 78. Epitaph for James Smith LAMENT him, Mauchline husbands a’, He aften did assist ye; For had ye staid hale weeks awa, Your wives they ne’er had miss’d ye. Ye Mauchline bairns, as on ye press To school in bands thegither, O tread ye lightly on his grass, — Perhaps he was your father!...
- Pipe Smoker Because I love the soothing weed And am of sober type, I’d choose me for a friend in need A man who smokes a pipe. A cove who hasn’t much to say, And spits into the fire, Puffing like me a pipe of clay, Corn-cob or briar. A chap original of thought, With cheery point […]...
- Mystery Now I am all One bowl of kisses, Such as the tall Slim votaresses Of Egypt filled For a God’s excesses. I lift to you My bowl of kisses, And through the temple’s Blue recesses Cry out to you In wild caresses. And to my lips’ Bright crimson rim The passion slips, And down my […]...
- The Mystery Your eyes drink of me, Love makes them shine, Your eyes that lean So close to mine. We have long been lovers, We know the range Of each other’s moods And how they change; But when we look At each other so Then we feel How little we know; The spirit eludes us, Timid and […]...
- On the Mystery of the Incarnation It’s when we face for a moment The worst our kind can do, and shudder to know The taint in our own selves, that awe Cracks the mind’s shell and enters the heart: Not to a flower, not to a dolphin, To no innocent form But to this creature vainly sure It and no other […]...
- What mystery pervades a well! What mystery pervades a well! That water lives so far A neighbor from another world Residing in a jar Whose limit none have ever seen, But just his lid of glass Like looking every time you please In an abyss’s face! The grass does not appear afraid, I often wonder he Can stand so close […]...
- Macavity: The Mystery Cat Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law. He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair: For when they reach the scene of crime Macavity’s not there! Macavity, Macavity, there’s no on like Macavity, He’s broken every human law, he breaks the […]...
- Job Interview Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch’s wife He would have written sonnets all his life? DON JUAN, III, 63-4 “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” The eldest male member (or is “male member” A redundancy?) of the committee Asked me. “Not here,” I thought. A good thing I Speak fluent Fog. […]...
- Human Life's Mystery We sow the glebe, we reap the corn, We build the house where we may rest, And then, at moments, suddenly, We look up to the great wide sky, Inquiring wherefore we were born… For earnest or for jest? The senses folding thick and dark About the stifled soul within, We guess diviner things beyond, […]...
- I Do, I Will, I Have How wise I am to have instructed the butler To instruct the first footman to instruct the second Footman to instruct the doorman to order my carriage; I am about to volunteer a definition of marriage. Just as I know that there are two Hagens, Walter and Copen, I know that marriage is a legal […]...
- To Laura (Mystery Of Reminiscence) Who and what gave to me the wish to woo thee Still, lip to lip, to cling for aye unto thee? Who made thy glances to my soul the link Who bade me burn thy very breath to drink My life in thine to sink? As from the conqueror’s unresisted glaive, Flies, without strife subdued, […]...
- Would You Believe It? One year ago I wished that I A banker great might be With a hundred million dollars And financial majesty; A mighty Wall Street banker With a whopping lot of power And an income of somewhere around A thousand plunks per hour; A solid Wall Street banker With securities in sacks And with clever men […]...
- Smoke Last summer, lazing by the sea, I met a most entrancing creature, Her black eyes quite bewildered me – She had a Spanish cast of feature. She often smoked a cigarette, And did it in the cutest fashion. Before a week passed by she set My young heart in a raging passion. I swore I […]...
- Friendships Mystery, To My Dearest Lucasia Come, my Lucasia, since we see That miracles Men’s Faith do move, By wonder and by prodigy To the dull angry World let’s prove There’s a Religion in our Love. For Though we were design’d t’agree, That Fate no liberty destroys, But our Election is as free As Angels, who with greedy choice Are yet […]...
- The people tangwena says this is our land soiled by the blood of black centuries Smith says the white tongue goes bang bang black must learn words of a new march Tangwena says every tree here is made in the image of a black ghost Smith says the white tongue goes bang bang you must make your […]...
- The Piper AGAIN I hear you piping, for I know the tune so well, – You rouse the heart to wander and be free, Tho’ where you learned your music, not the God of song can tell, For you pipe the open highway and the sea. O piper, lightly footing, lightly piping on your way, Tho’ your […]...
- The Home-Coming My boy’s come back; he’s here at last; He came home on a special train. My longing and my ache are past, My only son is back again. He’s home with music, flags and flowers; With peace and joy my heart’s abrim; He got here in the morning hours With half the town to welcome […]...
- Captain Teach alias Black Beard Edward Teach was a native of Bristol, and sailed from that port On board a privateer, in search of sport, As one of the crew, during the French War in that station, And for personal courage he soon gained his Captain’s approbation. ‘Twas in the spring of 1717, Captajn Harnigold and Teach sailed from Providence […]...
- The Robbers Alas! I see that thrushes three Are ravishing my old fig tree, In whose green shade I smoked my pipe And waited for the fruit to ripe; From green to purple softly swell Then drop into my lap to tell That it is succulently sweet And excellent to eat. And now I see the crimson […]...
- 370. Song-Sic a Wife as Willie had WILLIE WASTLE dwalt on Tweed, The spot they ca’d it Linkumdoddie; Willie was a wabster gude, Could stown a clue wi’ ony body: He had a wife was dour and din, O Tinkler Maidgie was her mither; Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her! She has an e’e, […]...
- The Smoking Frog Three men I saw beside a bar, Regarding o’er their bottle, A frog who smoked a rank cigar They’d jammed within its throttle. A Pasha frog it must have been So big it as and bloated; And from its lips the nicotine In graceful festoon floated. And while the trio jeered and joked, As if […]...
- MACTAVISH I do not write for love of pelf, Nor lust for phantom fame; I do not rhyme to please myself, Nor yet to win acclaim: No, strange to say it is my plan, What gifts I have, to lavish Upon a simple working man MACTAVISH. For that’s the rather smeary name, Of dreary toil a […]...
- The Headliner And The Breadliner Moko, the Educated Ape is here, The pet of vaudeville, so the posters say, And every night the gaping people pay To see him in his panoply appear; To see him pad his paunch with dainty cheer, Puff his perfecto, swill champagne, and sway Just like a gentleman, yet all in play, Then bow himself […]...
- An Incantation Come with me, and we will blow Lots of bubbles, as we go; Bubbles bright as ever Hope Drew from fancy or from soap; Bright as e’er the South Sea sent From its frothy element! Come with me, and we will blow Lots of bubbles, as we go. Mix the lather, Johnny W lks, Thou, […]...