Obesity
With belly like a poisoned pup Said I: ‘I must give bacon up: And also, I profanely fear, I must abandon bread and beer That make for portliness they say; Yet of them copiously
Comfort
Say! You’ve struck a heap of trouble Bust in business, lost your wife; No one cares a cent about you, You don’t care a cent for life; Hard luck has of hope bereft you,
Spanish Men
The Men of Seville are, they say, The laziest of Spain. Consummate artists in delay, Allergical to strain; Fr if you have a job for them, And beg them to be spry, They only
My Hero
Of all the boys with whom I fought In Africa and Sicily, Bill was the bravest of the lot In our dare-devil Company. That lad would rather die than yield; His gore he glorified
Kathleen
It was the steamer Alice May that sailed the Yukon foam. And touched in every river camp from Dawson down to Nome. It was her builder, owner, pilot, Captain Silas Geer, Who took her
Our Hero
“Flowers, only flowers bring me dainty posies, Blossoms for forgetfulness,” that was all he said; So we sacked our gardens, violets and roses, Lilies white and bluebells laid we on his bed. Soft his
The Last Supper
Marie Vaux of the Painted Lips, And the mouth so mocking gay, A wanton you to the finger-tips, Who break men’s hearts in play; A thing of dust I have striven for, Honour and
Property
The red-roofed house of dream design Looks three ways on the sea; For fifty years I’ve made it mine, And held it part of me. The pines I planted in my youth Triumpantly are
Murderers
He was my best and oldest friend. I’d known him all my life. And yet I’m sure towards the end He knew I loved his wife, And wonder, wonder if it’s why He came
Making Good
No man can be a failure if he thinks he’s a success; He may not own his roof-tree overhead, He may be on his uppers and have hocked his evening dress – (Financially speaking
Balloon
I bought my little grandchild Ann A bright balloon, And I was such a happy man To hear her croon. She laughed and babbled with delight, So gold its glow, As by a thread
Self-Made Man
A hundred people I employed, But when they struck for higher pay, I was so damnably annoyed I told them they could stay away. I simply shut my business down; I closed my doors
Bill's Prayer
I never thought that Bill could say A proper prayer; ‘Twas more in his hard-bitten way To cuss and swear; Yet came the night when Baby Ted Was bitter ill, I tip-toed to his
Sensitive Burglar
Selecting in the dining-room The silver of his choice, The burglar heard from chamber gloom A female voice. As cold and bitter as a toad, She spat a nasty name, So even as his
Dreams
I had a dream, a dream of dread: I thought that horror held the house; A burglar bent above my bed, He moved as quiet as a mouse. With hairy hand and naked knife