The Dreadful Has Already Happened


The relatives are leaning over, staring expectantly.
They moisten their lips with their tongues. I can feel
Them urging me on. I hold the baby in the air.
Heaps of broken bottles glitter in the sun.

A small band is playing old fashioned marches.
My mother is keeping time by stamping her foot.
My father is kissing a woman who keeps waving
To somebody else. There are palm trees.

The hills are spotted with orange flamboyants and tall
Billowy clouds move beyond them. “Go on, Boy,”
I hear somebody say, “Go on.”
I keep wondering if it will rain.

The sky darkens. There is thunder.
“Break his legs,” says one of my aunts,
“Now give him a kiss.” I do what I’m told.
The trees bend in the bleak tropical wind.

The baby did not scream, but I remember that sigh
When I reached inside for his tiny lungs and shook them
Out in the air for the flies. The relatives cheered.
It was about that time I gave up.

Now, when I answer the phone, his lips
Are in the receiver; when I sleep, his hair is gathered
Around a familiar face on the pillow; wherever I search
I find his feet. He is what is left of my life.


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The Dreadful Has Already Happened