Valentine To The Girl In Black
In hand I take this pen of mine To write you, sweet, a valentine; I’d take your dainty hand instead, But-you’re a drawing-I am wed- And that is why, you understand, I only take
Immortality
I bowed my head in anguish sore When Life made Death his bride; “Soul, we are lost forever more!” Unto my soul I cried. “Nay, waste in wailing not thy breath,” My soul replied
The Whale
The Whale is found in seas and oceans, Indulging there in fishlike motions, But Science shows that Whales are mammals, Like Jersey cows, and goats, and camels. When undisturbed, the Whale will browse Like
Cupid Caught Napping
Cupid on a summer day, Wearied by unceasing play, In a rose heart sleeping lay, While, to guard the tricksy fellow, Close above the fragrant bed Back and forth a gruff bee sped, And,
Outbid
When Cupid held an auction sale, I hastened to his mart, For I had heard that he would sell The blue-eyed Dora’s heart. I brought a wealth of truest love, The most that I
To Phyllis And May
O! fair, sweet Phyllis and sweet, fair May, Which of you carried my heart away? Who has my heart? I would like to know Which was the guilty one of the two, But I
Little Ballads Of Timely Warning; II: On Malicious Cruelty To Harmless Creatures
The cruelty of P. L. Brown- (He had ten toes as good as mine) Was known to every one in town, And, if he never harmed a noun, He loved to make verbs shriek
A St. Valentine's Day Tragedy
Oh! Montmorency Vere de Vere, To think that one I held so dear Should use a base deceiver’s art To trifle with my loving heart. A brand new ten-cent valentine With lace and hearts
To May
I have no heart to write verses to May; I have no heart-yet I’m cheerful today; I have no heart-she has won mine away So-I have no heart to write verses to May.
Trespassers
When Love and I drew softly nigh And gazed in modest Chloe’s eye We saw reflected there in part The lovely mansion of her heart, A sight so fair that, quite bereft Of sense
Speaking Of Operations
I know something wonderful-wonderful; So strange it will quite startle you; So strange and absurd and unusual It seems it can hardly be true! I know something wonderful-wonderful; You’ll hardly believe it can be-
The Rich Boy's Christmas
And now behold this sulking boy, His costly presents bring no joy; Harsh tears of anger fill his eye Tho’ he has all that wealth can buy. What profits it that he employs His
A Satisfactory Reform
A merry burgomaster In a burgh upon the Rhine Said, “Our burghers all are Far too fond of drinking wine.” So the merry burgomaster, When the burgomasters met, Bade them look into the matter
At Variance
When with me the play she goes, I much admire the buds and bows And all that on Kate’s headgear grows. But when some other night I see That hat between the stage and
Circumstantial Evidence
She does not mind a good cigar (The kind, that is, I smoke); She thinks all men quite stupid are, (But laughs whene’er I joke). She says she does not care for verse (But