The Poetry Reading
at high noon
At a small college near the beach
Sober
The sweat running down my arms
A spot of sweat on the table
I flatten it with my finger
Blood money blood money
My god they must think I love this like the others
But it’s for bread and beer and rent
Blood money
I’m tense lousy feel bad
Poor people I’m failing I’m failing
A woman gets up
Walks out
Slams the door
A dirty poem
Somebody told me not to read dirty poems
Here
It’s too late.
My eyes can’t see some lines
I read it
Out-
Desperate trembling
Lousy
They can’t hear my voice
And I say,
I quit, that’s it, I’m
Finished.
And later in my room
There’s scotch and beer:
The blood of a coward.
This then
Will be my destiny:
Scrabbling for pennies in tiny dark halls
Reading poems I have long since beome tired
Of.
And I used to think
That men who drove buses
Or cleaned out latrines
Or murdered men in alleys were
Fools.
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