Spike Milligan

Eurolove

I cannot And I will not No, I cannot love you less Like the flower to the butterfly The corsage to the dress She turns my love to dust My destination empty My beliefs

Summer Dawn

My sleeping children are still flying dreams In their goose-down heads. The lush of the river singing morning songs Fish watch their ceilings turn sun-white. The grey-green pike lances upstream Kale, like mermaid’s hair

Teeth

English Teeth, English Teeth! Shining in the sun A part of British heritage Aye, each and every one. English Teeth, Happy Teeth! Always having fun Clamping down on bits of fish And sausages half

Maveric

Maveric Prowles Had Rumbling Bowles That thundered in the night. It shook the bedrooms all around And gave the folks a fright. The doctor called; He was appalled When through his stethoscope He heard

Values '67

Pass by citizen Don’t look left or right Keep those drip dry eyes straight ahead A tree? Chop it down – it’s a danger To lightning! Pansies calling for water, Let ’em die –

The Soldiers at Lauro

Young are our dead Like babies they lie The wombs they blest once Not healed dry And yet – too soon Into each space A cold earth falls On colder face. Quite still they

Granny

Through every nook and every cranny The wind blew in on poor old Granny Around her knees, into each ear (And up nose as well, I fear) All through the night the wind grew

Mirror, Mirror

A young spring-tender girl Combed her joyous hair ‘You are very ugly’ said the mirror. But, On her lips hung A smile of dove-secret loveliness, For only that morning had not The blind boy

The Dog Lovers

So they bought you And kept you in a Very good home Cental heating TV A deep freeze A very good home- No one to take you For that lovely long run- But otherwise

On the Ning Nang Nong

On the Ning Nang Nong Where the Cows go Bong! And the monkeys all say BOO! There’s a Nong Nang Ning Where the trees go Ping! And the tea pots jibber jabber joo. On

Have A Nice Day

‘Help, help, ‘ said a man. ‘I’m drowning.’ ‘Hang on, ‘ said a man from the shore. ‘Help, help, ‘ said the man. ‘I’m not clowning.’ ‘Yes, I know, I heard you before. Be

Unto Us

Somewhere at some time They committed themselves to me And so, I was! Small, but I WAS! Tiny, in shape Lusting to live I hung in my pulsing cave. Soon they knew of me

When I Suspected

There will be a time when it will end. Be it parting Be it death So each passing minute with you Pendulummed with sadness. So many times I looked long into your face. I

Philip Le Barr

Philip Le Barr, Was knock down by a car, On the road to Mandalay. He was knocked down again By a dust cart in Spain And again in Zanzibar. So, He travled at night

Goodbye S. S

Go away girl, go away And let me pack my dreams Now where did I put those yesteryears Made up with broken seams Where shall I sweep the pieces My God they still look

Jumbo Jet

I saw a little elephant standing in my garden, I said ‘You don’t belong in here’, he said ‘I beg you pardon?’, I said ‘This place is England, what are you doing here?’, He

Porridge

Why is there no monument To Porridge in our land? It it’s good enough to eat, It’s good enough to stand! On a plinth in London A statue we should see Of Porridge made

The Lion

If you’re attacked by a Lion Find fresh underpants to try on Lay on the ground quite still Pretend you are very ill Keep like that day after day Perhaps the lion will go

Me

Born screaming small into this world- Living I am. Occupational therapy twixt birth and death- What was I before? What will I be next? What am I now? Cruel answer carried in the jesting

Contagion

Elephants are contagious! Be careful how you tread. An Elephant that’s been trodden on Should be confined to bed! Leopards are contagious too. Be careful tiny tots. They don’t give you a temperature But

Two Children

Two children (small), one Four, one Five, Once saw a bee go in a hive, They’d never seen a bee before! So waited there to see some more. And sure enough along they came

Letters

I was thinking of letters, We all have a lot in our life A few good – a few sad But mostly run of the mill- I suppose that’s my fault For writing to

Bump

Things that go ‘bump’ in the night Should not really give one a fright. It’s the hole in each ear That lets in the fear, That, and the absence of light!

Bazonka

Say Bazonka every day That’s what my grandma used to say It keeps at bay the Asian Flu’ And both your elbows free from glue. So say Bazonka every day (That’s what my grandma

Welcome Home

Unaware of my crime They stood me in the dock. I was sentenced to life…. Without her. Strange trial. No judge. No jury. I wonder who my visitors will be.

Feelings

There must be a wound! No one can be this hurt And not bleed. How could she injure me so? No marks No bruise Worse! People say ‘My, you’re looking well’ …..God help me!

Why?

American Detectives Never remove their hats When investigating murders In other people’s flats. P. S. Chinese Tecs Are far more dreaded! And they always appear Bare-headed!

Halved

The essence of true beauty Lingers in all-encompassing rainbows Of your joy and laughter You hold my hand and smile As we ensconce ourselves in our world of fire Our love is all there

Indian Boyhood

What happened to the boy I was? Why did he run away? And leave me old and thinking, like There’d been no yesterday? What happened then? Was I that boy? Who laughed and swam

The ABC

‘Twas midnight in the schoolroom And every desk was shut When suddenly from the alphabet Was heard a loud “Tut-Tut!” Said A to B, “I don’t like C; His manners are a lack. For