Marriott Edgar

Magna Carta

I’ll tell of the Magna Charter As were signed at the Barons’ command On Runningmead Island in t’ middle of t’ Thames By King John, as were known as “Lack Land.” Some say it

The Runcorn Ferry

On the banks of the Mersey, o’er on Cheshire side, Lies Runcorn that’s best known to fame By Transporter Bridge as takes folks over t’stream, Or else brings them back across same. In days

Sam Goes To It

Sam Small had retired from the Army, In the old Duke of Wellington’s time, So when present unpleasantness started, He were what you might call… past his prime. He’d lived for some years in

Henry the Seventh

Henry the Seventh of England Wasn’t out of the Royal top drawer, The only connection of which he could boast, He were King’s nephew’s brother-in-law. It were after the Wars of the Roses That

Canute the Great

I’ll tell of Canute, King of England, A native of Denmark was he, His hobbies was roving and raiding And paddling his feet in the sea. By trade he were what’s called a Viking,

Sam's Christmas Pudding

It was Christmas Day in the trenches In Spain in Penninsular War, And Sam Small were cleaning his musket A thing as he’d ne’re done before. They’d had ’em inspected that morning And Sam

Richard Coeur de Lion

Richard the First, Coeur-de-Lion, Is a name that we speak of with pride, Though he only lived six months in England From his birth to the day that he died. He spent all his

Three Ha'Pence a Foot

I’ll tell you an old-fashioned story That Grandfather used to relate, Of a joiner and building contractor; ‘Is name, it were Sam Oglethwaite. In a shop on the banks of the Irwell, Old Sam

The Recumbent Posture

The day after Christmas, young Albert Were what’s called, confined to his bed, With a tight kind of pain in his stummick And a light feeling up in his head. His parents were all

Balbus

I’ll tell you the story of Balbus, You know, him as builded a wall; I’ll tell you the reason he built it, And the place where it happened an’ all. This ‘ere Balbus, though

Albert and His Savings

One day, little Albert Ramsbottom To see ‘ow much money ‘e’d got Stuck a knife in ‘is money-box slot ‘ole And fiddled and fished out the lot. It amounted to fifteen and fourpence Which

William Rufus

The reign of King William the Second Were an uninteresting affair There’s only two things that’s remembered of him That’s his sudden death and his red hair. He got his red hair from his

The Burghers of Calais

It were after the Battle of Crecy – The foe all lay dead on the ground – And King Edward went out with his soldiers To clean up the places around. The first place

Albert and the 'Eadsman

On young Albert Ramsbottom’s birthday His parents asked what he’d like most; He said to see t’ Tower of London And gaze upon Anne Boleyn’s ghost. They thowt this request were unusual And at

Albert Down Under

Albert were what you’d call “thwarted”. He had long had an ambition, which… Were to save up and go to Australia, The saving up that were the hitch. He’d a red money box on

Gunner Joe

I’ll tell you a seafaring story, Of a lad who won honour and fame Wi’ Nelson at Battle ‘Trafalgar, Joe Moggeridge, that were his name. He were one of the crew of the Victory,

The Return of Albert

You’ve ‘eard ‘ow young Albert Ramsbottom, In the Zoo up at Blackpool one year, With a stick and ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle, Gave a lion a poke in the ear. The name of the lion

The 'Ole in the Ark

One evening at dusk as Noah stood on his Ark, Putting green oil in starboard side lamp, His wife came along and said, ‘Noah, summat’s wrong, Our cabin is getting quite damp. Noah said,

Little Aggie

When Joe Dove took his elephants out on the road He made each one hold fast with his trunk To the tail of the elephant walking in front To stop them from doing a

The Channel Swimmer

Would you hear a Wild tale of adventure Of a hero who tackled the sea, A super-man swimming the ocean, Then hark to the tale of Joe Lee. Our Channel, our own Straits of

George and the Dragon

I’ll tell you the tale of an old country pub As fancied itself up to date, It had the word ” Garage” wrote on t’ stable door And a petrol pump outside the gate.

On Jubilee Day the Ramsbottoms Invited relations to tea, Including young Albert’s grandmother – An awkward old. . party, was she. She’d seen Queen Victoria’s accession And ‘er wedding to Albert (the Good) But

The Battle of Hastings

I’ll tell of the Battle of Hastings, As happened in days long gone by, When Duke William became King of England, And ‘Arold got shot in the eye. It were this way – one

Albert's Return

You’ve ‘eard ‘ow young Albert Ramsbottom At the zoo up at Blackpool one year With a stick with an ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle Gave a lion a poke in the ear? The name of the

Asparagus

Mr. Ramsbottom went to the races, A thing as he’d ne’er done before, And as luck always follers beginners, Won five pounds, no-less and no-more. He felt himself suddenly tempted To indulge in some

Goalkeeper Joe

Joe Dunn were a bobby for football He gave all his time to that sport, He played for the West Wigan Whippets, On days when they turned out one short. He’d been member of

Queen Matilda

Henry the first, surnamed ” Beauclare,” Lost his only son William at sea, So when Henry died it were hard to decide Who his heir and successor should be. There were two runners-up for

Marksman Sam

When Sam Small joined the regiment, ‘E were no’ but a raw recruit, And they marched ‘im away one wint’ry day, ‘Is musket course to shoot. They woke ‘im up at the crack o’

Joe Ramsbottom

Joe Ramshottom rented a bit of a farm From its owner, Squire Goslett his name; And the Gosletts came over with William the First, And found Ramsbottoms here when they came. One day Joe

Albert and the Lion

There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool, That’s noted for fresh air and fun, And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom Went there with young Albert, their son. A grand little lad was young Albert, All

Sam's Racehorse

When Sam Small retired from the Army He’d a pension of ninepence a day, And seven pounds fourteen and twopence He’d saved from his rations and pay. He knew this ‘ere wasn’t a fortune,

Jonah and the Grampus

I’ll tell you the story of Jonah, A really remarkable tale; A peaceful and humdrum existence he had Until one day he went for a sail. The weather were grand when they started, But